Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Beginning Somewhere

With so much to say, it's hard to know where to begin! For me, tonight, the important thing is that I begin. Big steps happening here! For any beginning is a big step.

I've started writing a spontaneous poem each night. What is a spontaneous poem, you ask? It's a poem that I simply begin with one word, image, or phrase and let it spontaneously flow. It was a spontaneous decision that I made a few nights ago-I finally decided to let my resident and wonderful muse back in the house. I guess I kicked her out a few years ago playing "tough love" or something. It wasn't her I was "tough loving", it was me. I went through a phase where loving myself was really tough (like my whole life!). Loving others-that was easy! Loving myself-heck! even liking myself-now, that was tough! It's amazing how being bred to be such a "people-pleaser" it was so challenging to remember that I, too, was a people and I deserved to be pleased, respected, liked, have nice things done for me by me just as much as strangers, friends, family, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, you name it, did.  

So here is my first step. My first Spontaneous Poem. I know there is lots more to come. And for now, I am pleased.

These leaps of faith
Are like gulps of breath
Taken the moment before
You find yourself
Tumbling in the sandy waters
Of waves while riding
On a Boogie Board
Hearing the murmurs
Of the laughter and voices
Above you
Realizing that your best friend
Has ridden the wave in as well
Only to beach herself above you
Laughing at the wild ride
Unaware that you are sandwiched
Between the boards beneath her
Fearful that you will drown
In the unknown
That no one will hear you
Or know that you are even there
And while she is celebrating the joy
You are panicking
To the blaring deafness
Of faith
Then it is there
As if it never happened
The only evidence
Is the sand pile in the lining of 
Your swimsuit crotch.


  1. Why is it we are afraid of drowning in that unknown? ?? I don't want that fear to cripple me ever again!!! It is so easy for the thoughts to flow, but follow through and action are so very challenging ...

    1. Virginia Rose, that was so beautifully said! I think perhaps the unknown likes to keep us feeling like we are indeed drowning in uncertainty and fear to hold us back because otherwise it is then "known" and monsters are always scarier in the dark than in the light. What power do they hold then? And I understand about follow through and action-I support you in sticking with what your heart tells you is right and true for you: the rest will follow through, one step at a time!